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Who’s Watching the Watchmen?

  • Posted on July 28, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Even though Halloween is months from now, my craftiest friend has already started to consider what costume she wants to make. Every year, I go through the same thing except while Jyl somehow manages to pull her costume together, I generally end up being wench-from-the-Renaissance-Faire because it’s the only costume I own.

To combat this chain of events, I’ve decided to really give it an effort. However, I’ve decided to be anti-sexy costume. I narrowed my choices down to the Joker, V (from V for Vendetta) or Rorschach (from Watchmen). Looking at that list, it looks like I have a thing for Alan Moore. Aaanyway…

I ruled out V because although I have access to a cape, I don’t have access to the sheer number of knives I would be forced to carry upon my person…and if one is going to dress up as V, one must carry the knives. Unfortunately, most of the places I’m likely to end up on Halloween frown on that type of thing, especially if there’s alcohol involved. So, scratch that.

Next, I ruled out the Joker because although he’s my favourite in the Batman Universe, I don’t like wearing regular-girl-makeup let alone subjecting myself to greasepaint for an entire night. There are just some sacrifices I’m not prepared to make for the sake of fashion.

This leaves me with Rorschach. The more I think about it, the more delighted I am with the idea.

First of all, I get to fly in the face of convention and be a girl-dressing-up-as-a-boy instead of the usual boy-dressing-up-as-a-prostitute.

Second of all, if I can do it right, there’s a possibility people might not realize I’m even a girl, which is enticing to the SneakyAma inside your Regularly Scheduled Ama.

Third of all, it will give me an excuse to buy a brown trenchcoat and purple pinstripe pants.

Actually, thinking about it, I wonder how I’ve gotten this far, given my love of purple, without owning a pair of purple pinstripe pants. I have a pair of purple cords, but no pinstripes. Shocking, I know.

It’s good to have a plan. Next step: start frequenting thrift stores for the different pieces I need.

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He Didn’t Shoot the Deputy

  • Posted on July 24, 2009 at 11:09 am
The last time my roommate went camping, he stopped by Cabela’s (like you do when you’re a twenty-five-year-old boy) and ended up walking out with with a Walther CP88 Air Pistol which I’m sure was great fun at Hawk Mountain, but seems somewhat out of place in our two bedroom townhouse.

However, he finally remembered to show it to me yesterday. It is pretty interesting; I imagine it feels like a real gun, though I’ve never held a real gun. Pete tells me it’s specifically weighted to be as close to real as possible.

There’s no children in our house (duh), so I told him it was fine to have it as long as he didn’t shoot me with it because I know that crossed his fiendish mind at some point.

“Oh, it doesn’t hurt,” he said. “You want to shoot me?”

Now…when one’s exboyfriend says, “You want to shoot me?” what could one possibly say besides, “Oh, hell yes!”

So, he loaded the gun with one soft pellet, cocked it for me and handed it over. Then, he went and stood in my bedroom doorway with his back to me. “Just not in the head, okay?” I lowered my aim. He knows me too well.

I shot him in the back and he didn’t even flinch. He picked up the little pellet and loaded the gun again. “See, it didn’t hurt,” he said. I was sitting at my computer, minding my own business, when he turned back and shot me in the thigh.

I don’t consider myself a particularily excitable person. However, when someone shoots me, I tend to get a little perturbed. Actually, I probably wouldn’t have cared that much except…

“FUCKING HELL, THAT FUCKING HURT! COME BACK HERE! THAT STINGS LIKE A FUCKING BITCH! COME BACK HERE, YOU FUCKING LOSER!!!”

…there may have been a bit of a reaction. He danced away to his room crowing that it didn’t hurt and I’m a big baby. Which I may very well be. But I’m a baby WHO JUST GOT SHOT.

Seriously, though, it stung like a little bee sting. To top it all off, I have a little pellet-shaped bruise on my upper thigh. And it’s still sore.

I’m considering taking up archery just so I can come home and say, “Hey, Pete! Wanna see my new bow? Lemme shoot you. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt!”

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Future Career Change?

  • Posted on July 21, 2009 at 8:31 am
Me: what colour’s your kitchen?
Joanne: all the app are the stainless steel – cabinets lite oak – stove black top – floor wood – the wall you can see is called himialaya silver.
Me: …where do they come up with these colour names? i want that to be my job.
Joanne: sitting behind a desk playing on a computer………………..i know it
Me: i could spend my days playing my game, and people would come up to me and say, “what colour do you think this is?” and i could reply, “oh, i think that’s tangerine sunset” and they would go away again…

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