“My wife and I made a deal where we could cheat as long as it was someone we chose in advance. She chose Harrison Ford. She’s just mad because I chose the babysitter.”

So that got me thinking about fidelity and love and celebrities. I went to see The Time Traveler’s Wife when it first came out and got to ogle Eric Bana for two hours, thinking about all the [blankity blank] things I’d like to do to him when all of a sudden I thought to myself, “Wait…is he married?”

That prompted me to look it up on Wikipedia and Eric Bana is, in fact, married. Since 1997. Then I felt a little skeevy that I was lusting over someone else’s husband. To add to my skeeviness, every other actor-who-I-think-is-hot’s page also list them as married or at least has a girlfriend. Does that make me a wannabe homewrecker? Should I even worry about these things?

I suppose the answer is yes and no, respectively. It’s all moot as the chances of me running into Orlando Bloom on the street are slim and the chance that he’d even notice me is slimmer, but it still feels weird. I’d question why it’s socially acceptable to lust over a married actor, but over a married next door neighbour, but it seems to all boil down to availabilty.

That, in turn, makes me wonder if in the actor’s community, it’s acceptable for an unmarried starlet to say to her girlfriends that she’d happily bang Ewan McGregor and if Eve Mavrakis, upon hearing this, gets upset the same way one of my friends would get upset if I said I wanted to do naughty things her husband. Ultimately, it would depend on what kind of woman Eve is, but in general, I wonder how it all plays out.

I will probably never know.